Sunday, June 19, 2011

Do's, Don'ts and Thoughts for A Bride

It's that time of year again: Wedding season! And if you're like myself and most of my friends, a large percentage of your summer weekends are going to be spent cheers-ing and toasting a happily and newly united couple. It's love!

As wedding attendees, your job is easy. Your etiquette is laid out for you (and if you really don't know what to do, google Wedding Guest Etiquette!).

It's the bride and groom that have the tough job on their wedding day! So much to consider, many things to worry about and focus on.

So, myself and two guest writers have compiled a list of DO's and DON'Ts for brides on their wedding day. We hope these suggestions provide you with some helpful guidelines for enjoying your special day!

Looking for more? Sarah, over at jada|maya has put together her own little do/don't list after her recent wedding in 2012!

Some Loving advice from Emily over at Our Nest in the City

Emily, wife of 3 years and mother of 1 (plus one on the way!), has had her share of wedding experience. Check out her blogs Our Nest in the City and The Baby Bump Blog for some enjoyable reading.


Don't: Put the pressure on for your wedding day to be the BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. It hopefully won't be by a long shot... because marraige gets better every single year and you love your husband more every day!

Don't: Drink too much (or any) alcohol. I didn't have a drop. I needed to be awake for a LONG time ;) Especially if you're not eating too much all day - which (see the next point) you should remember to do.

Do: Try to eat some food. With all of the socializing, it is hard to remember - but if you don't, you'll find yourself hungry / tired / faint-ish.

Do: Freshen up your makeup through the day. I didn't - and from pictures I can see my lips fading into nothingness as the day wore on!

Thoughtful tips from Brianna at This Rookie Wife
Brianna, a loving and thoughtful newlywed (as of May 2011!) writes for This Rookie Wife, honestly and openly sharing her struggles, thoughts and journey.


I agree with Emily - easy on the alcohol. Daniel and I had one drink each, which was plenty.
And eating food is good too! Although... my dress was so tight around the waist that I could barely eat. We ordered like $50.00 worth of room service when we got to the hotel!

Do: Take a moment. As a bride, your wedding day may be one of the most overwhelming days that you ever experience. Remember to take a moment to soak up the decor, your family and friends laughing, and the feel of your husband's arms around you. These little moments will be cherished forever, so don't miss them!

Do: Take time to thank your guests. It depends on how big your wedding is, but I think it's important to take time of thank your guests. We had a receiving line, but I also went around most of the tables to see how everybody was enjoying their food, and to say a quick thank you.

Don't: Go to the bathroom alone. Most brides will be wearing fairly large dresses, and even a layer of crinoline. Don't even think about going to the washroom on your own. Make sure to bring at least 2 people that you trust to help you, and go in the wheelchair bathroom if possible. I also took an Imodium the morning before the wedding. Maybe too much information, but very much appreciated by my Mom and Matron of Honour!

Don't: Have a nervous breakdown if your best man faints (or for any other reason). This is a little extreme, but at my wedding, our best man fainted right before I walked down the aisle. We had to call an ambulance to take him to the hospital, and 20-minutes later I finally walked down the aisle. No matter what, things won't turn out exactly how your planned it. Whether your best man faints, or your cake falls on the floor, or your bouquet has the wrong flowers, in the end you will be married!

Some thoughts from myself...
I have been lucky enough to have been married to my wonderful husband for nearly 2 years! My perspectives come from being the wife of this wedding photographer. (So if you've hired a photographer for your wedding, keep these things in mind! - and if you haven't, I have an excellent recommendation!)



Do: Remember, you are beautiful. You are. Ta da! You win. Nothing more you can do. You look stunning. So please stop running your hands down the side of your dress to ensure the tightest fit possible. Please stop stealing every glance in the mirror just for the sake of checking your hair or makeup - that's the responsibility of your bridesmaids, they'll let you know when you're starting to look like a smurf. And please - please - know how wonderful you look! Hear the words everyone is telling you. They ain't lyin'. Let yourself feel as beautiful as you look, and focus on soaking in the experience.

Don't: Stare at cameras. If you have specifically requested candid photos (and this comes from the photographer's-wife in me), I want you to know that it is virtually impossible to capture you being your candid self, if you are consistently being aware of getting noticed by the camera. That's the photographer's job. Relax.

Do: Spend time with your hubby. Take 5 minutes to just breathe and be together - yes, people will miss you - you're the star of the show, but remember that the day is about your love. Keep it that way. Too often John and I see couples have their reuniting from the ceremony, during the photography period! Duck out before that time. Make the time.

Do: Take couples photos post-ceremony. Now, this is coming from me in a much more traditional light than some people would prefer but if at all possible, take your couples & family photos after the ceremony. We have said this to our brides time and again, but there is a different kind of relaxed smile that comes after the wedding than before the wedding. Your photos will fit your personality that much more, if you wait until the pomp and circumstance has settled and you get to be yourselves.

Don't: Stress or worry. Everyone can see it on your face. Tres uncomfortable!

Do: Smile like crazy. You deserve it, you happy lovely woman!

Don't: Let anyone bring you down. Family and friends are supposed to be our most well-connected, supportive, rooting community around us. But let's face it, although your wedding day is going to be one of the most important days of your life, your wedding party and family still have their own worries and concerns to attend to. Don't worry - you are not a burden, and they love you and adore you and will go to all extremes to support you in having an amazing day. But remember that their own stressors and pressures will be affecting them in the months and weeks leading up to your big day, and don't let that bring you down. You are a beautiful, deserving, lovely woman but (unfortunately) the world does not stop for weddings. Or anything really.
 
Don't: Sweat the small stuff. How cliche! But really - your flowers may be late, your dress may get dirty, your corset may be a pain in the butt (literally), and your hair might - it just might - frizz. But so what? If you let those things bother you - if you let anything bother you, really - you will lose focus on the one thing that matters: Your new life with your new hubby. Smile it up, shake it off.
 
Do: Be your own bride. Don't be influenced by expectations, pressures or traditions that don't jive with you. On the flip side, if there's something you'd really love to incorporate, do your best to make it happen! If finances are a concern, check out some Do It Yourself websites - and if you lack the crafty edge (like many of us do!), approach a friend that may be able to give you a hand.

"And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love.
And the greatest of these is Love."
- 1 Corinthians 13:13

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