I Should Probably Tell You This (But I Think You Already Know)

Last week, some big news was released via Instagram. Don't ask me why, I just thought it made more sense for that period in our life to continue with what I was already doing (posting daily pictures) instead of pretending I was some committed blogger who hadn't given up for the Summer ('cause let's be real, this thing ain't goin' nowhere fast.)

But for those of you who aren't 375% connected (good on ya), I have a little somethin' somethin' to share. #Dinnergram

I call this piece "Eating for Two"

That's right, we're pregnant! "We" being myself, John & The Caterpillar, all of whom have suffered and enjoyed the first trimester woes and celebrations that come with hormonal crazy trains, exhaustion, through-the-day nausea and an obsessive need to bake. And bake and bake and bake.

So you want the details, am I right? Okay, let's do this, but don't expect me to keep it up because suddenly it'll be labour day and I'll have wondered where the time went!

Bum-ba-da-bum! I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant!

I'm feeling incredibly, extremely thankful. I'll take any of the "side effects" that pregnancy brings if it means that I get another healthy and happy babe at the end of this. I remember that after we lost baby E a few months ago, I would hear people complain about the standard pregnancy difficulties and envy them... there was nothing I wanted more than to have puffy feet and nausea and to be expecting in November (which we would have been). So now that God has given us another sweet, beautiful, wonderful chance, I'll deal with the issues - (and not always gracefully... actually, usually it's with very little grace if I'm going to be real with you) - but I. Will. Not. Complain.

I won't tell you how long it took to conceive, because it's totes irreleves, but I want to encourage you that if you have recently suffered a miscarriage, fertility increases (skyrockets) at the 3 month mark after your body has "fully healed". You have no idea how strongly I held onto this information following our loss, with hope beyond hope that there was some truth to it. (Turns out it wasn't 100% but hey, that's cool.) I want to shoot out a thanks to "K" (not sure if you want me to put your name on out there) whose story was a massive encouragement to me.

And I will tell you that I feel sad that this pregnancy doesn't yet stand alone in my mind without being mixed and intertwined with a miscarriage story, because fear and anxiety are something I have yet to fully conquer in this arena. It's hard to think of this as a "second pregnancy" because truly it's a third, and truly I've been through the first trimester three times in my life, and when people ask me how this compares to "my last pregnancy", they're referring to the one with The Caterpillar (and it's never a point worth correcting - because is it correct? I don't know) - and this is unique; unique from the first and from the second, in its own beautiful and special way.

In short, I'm grateful. And also tired. :)

So my goals for this pregnancy: here they go.

1. Exercize. Legit.
2. Don't complain.
3. Feel settled & at home, allowing myself to nest.
4. Give The Caterpillar every ounce of attention she deserves, witholding nothing back in my ability in terms of time or work constraints (if I'm working or washing dishes, girl's gotta wait, but you know, I can put the phone down). 
5. Decide whether or not I'm going to wean The Caterpillar - more to come on that later.
6. Be nice. And patient. And not let stress, anxiety or worries get in the way of just being friendly.
7. Build community.
8. Build a stronger marriage. I guess that's been the plan for 4 years but let's put that in there anyways?
9. Eat my iron! Do not become anemic, woman! Remember how bad that feels?!
10. Take 15 minutes a day to meditate or do yoga or something to release my thoughts. Blogging doesn't count.

Oh yeah! Looking for more life updates? Instagram is just a click away. Follow me there!