What to Expect When You're Watching a Movie

John & I are about to watch Zero Dark Thirty, the movie that will tell us what really happened with Bin Ladin. Because of course, movies inform viewers of reality.

John had a great idea: let's do a pre-movie review and write what we expect to happen in the movie, based on the trailer.

So here's the trailer:



And here's what's going to happen:

• Bin Ladin is out there.
• Terrorizing the world.
• Must be caught.
• Harder than it sounds.
• He has no cell phone.
• What? Terrorist with no cell phone? How does he terrorize?
• This isn't funny, Sam. He's legit real evil.
• Ok.
• If he did have a cell phone, he would be out of range.
• Just saying.
• So, a multi-gazillion-dollar terrorist with no cell phone (obviously an attack on the Western world, what with having no cell phone), must be caught because he's leading other attacks and he's plain ol' cray cray.
• You've been reading too much Rage Against the Minivan.
• This reminds me of the hunt for Mussolini. 
• Except ain't nobody wanted that guy alive.
• Also it was totally different.
• A lot easier.
• There's going to be a lot of technology involved. The best there is.
• Black lines,
• First Black President
• Oh I UNDERSTAND what those lines symbolize!
• No I don't.
• Long struggle
• Find Bin Ladin.