These days, I have never felt so fulfilled.
Choosing to live as a working mother is not an idealized option in our current North American worldviews: us ladies are always under criticism for working too much or not enough; it's as though we need to make the choice between perfect home and perfect paycheque. My goal is to find a happy medium between the two: I have always aspired to have a fulfilling career, and while John and I both have the spirit of entrepreneurialism, we are family people too. Can I have both?
A year and a half ago, I began (and ended) my first day of a corporate career which resulted in a tumbling forward of moving to the country from the city, pushing for a more aggressive business startup and starting a family. It's been a whirlwind of a learning experience and we're having a blast. Sometimes we're having an explosion in one way or another (good or bad), but usually it's just a blast.
Right now it seems that we're juggling it all, but that's not always a good thing. This past summer has taught me a lot about myself as a mother, wife and business owner and I thought I'd share my experiences so far with you. You know, considering that my blogging hiatus has been sort of insane.
The Priority List
I have ranted and raved about my love for priority listing, and I feel like this is a great area to apply the habit for me. I started out this experience in a very un-prioritized way: I believe that there were a couple of weeks where I gave The Caterpillar less than she deserved, and I repent of that mistake. In response I've decided to make her number one for my 9-5 priority. Everything else will be okay. Some days, I find myself overwhelmed about how to keep the house in check and the emails in check and the baby happy and the husband loved up, but I look to my priority list for the day (and trust me, the priorities change day by day), say a quick prayer and move forward. I don't claim to do this well every day (nooo ma'am), but I'm working on simplifying what I give my time and energy to and doing each thing well.
It Takes Two of Us
Do I think that I could handle being a mom-wife-employee without my husband within thirty feet of me, all day? No sir. Some women do. Good for them. Not I. John works in our at-home office most of the time and in our kitchen some of the time. Not only do I enjoy my husband's constant presence, but I need it. John puts in a solid forty five to fifty hours of work a week (reasonable for a would-be workaholic), but he also puts The Caterpillar to sleep at nap time (because I just can't, more to come on that later); joins me for lunch in the dining room (and sometimes cooks it); and is constantly throwing in a new load of laundry. Him meeting me in the middle of my "homemaking" responsibilities means that I can meet him in the middle of his "professional" responsibilities.
I Work While She Sleeps & Eats
Now, I can't claim to be a voice of all working moms. I don't do shifts, and 8 times out of 10 I'm not out of the house. 6 times out of 10 I'm not even on the phone. The Caterpillar can be in my arms or in a toy-chair while I work, but it's often most prudent for me as a mother to spend quality time with her while she's in play mode and spend quality time working while she is not available for playing. I realize that I'm extremely fortunate as a mother to be able to work inconsistently through the day, a few hours here, twenty minutes there, and I have learned that in order to get the best out of me in every way, I should work while she sleeps and eats.
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| It's been looking a little something like this. |
The Beauty of the One Computer (For Now)
You may have heard me complain about the one-computer lifestyle that our family has, but in secret, I like it. I can't work in Lightroom while John works in Final Cut Pro. Just not possible. Having only one of us available to use the computer (and the computer available for one of us) means that the other can really give The Caterpillar the attention she deserves. I'm not sure if this will suffice for the remainder of our work-family life, but for now, one computer is a blessing.
Attachment Parenting + Working from Home = Possible
We are already finding that attachment parenting is paying off. Already! Although we're curbing co-sleeping (she's becoming good friends with her crib), the fact that The Caterpillar experiences everything we experience (as opposed to watching everything we experience) is making her such an engaged and curious baby. Of course, non-attachement-parented babies can also be engaged and curious, but I say, you should SEE THIS GIRL.
Can We Keep This Up?
We do plan to have more children - maybe not tomorrow (definitely not tomorrow), but we want our family to grow, God willing. I hope to goodness that this lifestyle is one we can continue. It is very likely that we'll need to bring in help two or so days a week so that I can have undivided work time while The Caterpillar toddles around, and I don't see anything wrong with this. My goal is to have her at home with me so I can still nurse and give her the attention she deserves. Let's see how well this goal comes to life.
I think my conclusion is no: I cannot have both the perfect home and the perfect paycheque. But, I can have a pretty great home and a reasonable paycheque, too.
Thats sweet!
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