Marriage Monday: Communication

It's been said so many times, we now know it as a cliche: communication is the key to any successful relationship. Well, it's cliche because it's true, and the topic of communication is so crucial, we want to lay it as a foundation for Marriage Mondays.

Five days ago, we gave birth to our beautiful baby girl The Caterpillar. In the span of five days, this little lady has rocked our worlds. For the time being, we live on her schedule: sleep when she sleeps, feed her when she's hungry, change her when she's poopy. There is nothing we have done in the last five days that has been focused on anything but The Caterpillar. Nothing, that is, but communicate.

Gary Chapman, a marriage counselor and esteemed author, has pinned down the principle of marriage that we feel is vital to maintaining success: don'tjust communicate... communicate your partner's "love language". Your partner's love language is the means by which they feel love expressed most. Is it through physical touch? Quality time? Words of encouragement? Gifts? Acts of service? Figure that out, act on it, and you will be well on your way to helping your partner feel loved and fulfilled.

In our marriage, Sam's primary love language is words of encouragement while John feels love through quality time. So, particularly during these last five days, John's "you're doing amazing, honey"s and Sam's putting down the sleeping baby for an undistracted chat, have gone miles and miles in terms of helping the other feel loved and fulfilled during this dizzying, wonderful time. Knowing you are and feeling loved makes it easier to talk issues through respectfully, let the little things go, and feel happier overall. Now, we're not communication professionals, but building on the foundation of the other's love language has helped us sort through many tough times and has set the stage for better communication when the need arises.

To find out more about what your and your partner's love language(s) might be, check out the quiz at http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ or simply take some time to reflect with your partner on what actions they have taken in the past that made you feel loved most.