you say you want a revolution?

the more I think about life after graduation, the more one 4 year degree
seems.. inadequate. 

and the more I think about life in general, the more I confine myself to
a cookie cutter set of expectations.

"I could be a teacher.

I could work in the government.

I could earn lots of money.

I could work 9 - 5"

Those are all amazing passions - if that is what you are passionate for -
But I can't help but think,
"I was made for more than this!

(I just don't know what as of yet.)"

I need to find my passion, and I'm in no rush to do it -
but until I do it, I don't want to get "stuck" living someone else's concept
of a good life.

Today I woke up,

Chatted with my wonderful husband,

And realized that I want to own my own business.

I want to live in the country.

I want to have my own life
(not my dad's concept of what my own life should be).

I could do a bed and breakfast.

I don't need to wait around until I'm "old enough".

I can create my own path, now.

It's like I thought that I stretched the rules enough by marrying at
19
and said

"woah, okay, we'll stop there & wait for the world to catch up".

No,

enough of that.

I am ready for bigger things, more things, pile things on me things.

I don't think I'm growing up too fast, I just want to grow into myself
and be happy.

And if trying out the unconventional will make me happy,

then so be it.

(And if the conventional would make me happy, that would be fine too!)

I will stop having this anxiety, this constant worrying about what
others will think
if I make choice a or choice b...
if John and I make the choices that will suit John and I.

A 4 year degree is not inadequate.

I can own my own business.

I can take risks.

I can find something I am excellent at.

I can live where my husband and I want.

And I don't have to keep up with this rat race.

I think I quit it, already. I'm not going to wait until I'm
45 years old
- once I've gone through the motions and pleased the world -
to live the life I want, 

I'm going to do it now.

I want a slow, restful, peaceful, joyful life.

I resolve that I will have such a thing.

(And I will get out of Hamilton when opportunity allows.)

I will finish school,

I will take risks,

and I'll do my own thing so I can touch lives in
super cool ways that fit me.

What we do is not nearly as important as who we are - Shane Claiborne.