adventures in my kitchen!

I am anti-double standards.
I really don't like the gender roles some people designate for marriages;
you know the ones -
traditional 1950's conception that
women are the homemakers,
men are the moneymakers,
and and when they come home there should be quite a meal on the table..
or else.

I feel that those don't allow us as humans to be all who we
want to be,

and that if we get legalistic about them
they can become really restricting.

For years, I resolved to step as far away from those
expectations
as I could and as a result
I didn't know how to cook. At all.

The thing is,
I also didn't realize that when you get married to someone you love,
someone that works with you to take unrealistic expectations out of marriage
and hold firm the purpose of serving each other,
that I would want to cook for my husband -
a simple act of kindness to give him a break from his long day.

I didn't realize that cooking could bring joy,
the feeling that I've created something wonderful
(or not wonderful - at least I created it!)
and that my years of avoiding the stove, sink, and utensils
might not have served any purpose at all.

So one day I had this fantastic idea:
John, who normally cooks - he loves to & he's excellent at it -
would let me step in to make some of the meal before he got home from work.
I'd cover the rice. That's it, just the rice.
I was used to preparing the food - cutting, chopping,
I like that stuff -
but this time I would boil and make the rice all on my own.
That day, I managed a feat I will never forget:
I both undercooked
and
burnt
two cups of rice.

I cried. Probably for a long time.
I remember feeling inadequate, frustrated, determined to close the door on
"expectations" forever. For the next two or three months I would continue to help John prepare food,
but not cook it.

But slowly, the desire to learn came back again:
I tried out my mother in law's shepherd's pie recipe.
I've baked banana-blueberry-walnut muffins.
And the other day, my best creation came to life
(alright, I followed an online recipe.)

I still don't like double standards,
but I really like tasting delicious meals
I made because I wanted to.
At last, I can separate the two!

Voila - thanks John for the photos (if you like those, you'll like his wedding and commercial sites)!